I found myself alone in an apartment after 21 years of marriage and raising two teenage daughters. Everything was gone. I sat in a self-righteous pool of loneliness, which is all that was left after my "confidence-boosting" years of drinking. Even I was sick of my constant finger pointing, anger, and bitterness.
I was two years sober, yet unbearable to live with.
I was a 5'2, 50-pounds-overweight, angry, bitter, afraid-of-everything (from flying, to social functions), pathetically "sober" person. Everything good in my life was gone. Even my puppies didn't want to be in this lonely apartment!
I realized no one cared about my two-year-old tantrums anymore. Having pulled all the tricks out of every pocket in a desperate attempt to be seen, I was all I had left. Something had to change if I was going to make it.
I have always been drawn to positive quotes and scriptures, so I began
to put post-its all over the walls and fridge. Every day I read aloud a
couple of them, especially the one that said:
Even though I didn't believe it, I read it as though I did, but words alone were not enough. Prayer gave me hope, but I also needed to take action. I went out into the sun and took my first step forward into the light - literally and figuratively.
One day, I got on my knees on the coffee table (yes on the table) and asked God to get me out of this mess if he was really there. And if he did - I promised I'd I'd shout his name off the top of a mountain til the day I died.
Everyday I kept taking forward steps... and pray. I knew this single experience was the start of something transformation in my life.
I also remembered something my pastor once said:
Because it does! He's not going to do for us anything that we need to see and do for ourselves. If he did, we would never learn anything.
Every day and every night after that I looked at those post-it notes. I memorized them, and they helped me when I needed them to give me the strength to "fight the good fight".
I've been sober since November 2009. I've lost 50 lbs (give or take a few). I share my testimony with others; by God's grace I'm still married, I love to exercise every day, and I have an excellent relationship with my two daughters.
It saved my life.Having experienced the power of encouraging, affirming words, I realized I wanted to take my post-it notes with me everywhere.
Since that isn't practical, I started searching for the next best way. Movement is a big part of my life and renewal, so I felt inspired to put them on activewear.
Is now a huge part of my testimony of God's Light in my life. Women wearing my clothes are empowered to experience themselves as vessels for God's light and energy.
I believe that when faith is combined with fitness, we can run the race that God has marked out for us. Every single one of us
is asked to "get up", "for such a time as this", so that we can be his light in this dark world.